Womens Money Talk

Sharing Money Stories and Creating Conversations

Join the Community!

Privacy Policy

WMT Content

Money Talk: A Topic We Love to Hate, MLM’s or multilevel marketing businesses

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

Before you read the commentary or join in on the conversation, we suggest you take a few minutes to read Laura Richard’s recent ‘Special to The Washington Post’. It was picked up by other papers and it’s linked here through the Chicago Tribune.

How MLM’s – multilevel marketing schemes – are hurting female friendships

multi level marking wine party

I stopped scrolling the second I saw the headline and read the article. I hadn’t really thought of it too much but I’ve considered “snoozing” or “muting” some of the women I know who are in MLM’s and fill my social media feeds.

I’ve never had someone pull what Jamie Birdwell-Branson’s friend did. But I am getting tired of the personal (unsolicited) messages in my social media accounts from friends who have special deals for me. Or those who want me to attend wine parties to learn more about replacing my day job income.

I can see how MLM’s can hurt female friendships.

I don’t want to see close up pictures of eyelashes every few weeks and read posts about how essential oils will solve all of my troubles. Show me pictures of your kids or your pets. Or let me know where you’ve been on vacation and I’m happy!

While some people are very successful with this type of business, there’s a good reason the Federal Trade Commission closely monitors MLM companies. When get-togethers to catch up become blatant recruitment tools for MLM businesses with incredibly high failure rates, friendships can be damaged or even end.

What Do You Think?

Have your female friendships been negatively affected by MLM’s?

How have you handled your friends’ MLM activities that you didn’t want to be a part of?

Were you treated differently by that friend after turning down invites to get involved?

Do you have a story like Jamie Birdwell-Branson’s?

Or do you run an MLM business yourself?

If you are a blogger who has written about MLM’s, feel free to link your post.

~ Vicki

Women, Money, and Entrepreneurship: Meet Amanda Page

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

Our focus on Women’s Money Talk is to share stories and create conversations about money. One area we are excited to start focusing on is female entrepreneurs! These women will share stories about themselves, their relationship with money, and why they’re excited about running a small business. You’ll learn more about some wonderful women and the passion they have to be their own boss!

Tell the Women’s Money Talk readers about yourself!

I’m Amanda Page. I’m 43. I’m single. No kids. Two dogs. I live in a city in the middle of a state in the Middle West (Columbus, Ohio.) I earn an average salary as a full-time professor of scholarly writing. Seriously, if you Google “average salary Columbus Ohio” you end up with a number pretty close to mine. Also, I have no consumer debt and I paid off my student loans on Valentine’s Day in 2016.

Entrepreneur Amanda Page headshot

How did your interest in entrepreneurship start?

Growing up in a small town in southern Ohio was an education in socioeconomic politics. My family was first generation, lower-middle class. My mother was an elementary school teacher and my father was a career firefighter who always had a side project. My dad dabbled in real estate and opened a car wash and then sold it. He also owned a few gun stores throughout my life.

I grew up knowing you could make extra money doing extra work. (What we might call side gigs or side hustles now!)

When I was in 4th grade or so, my dad bought my friend and I a Badge-It. We turned my former playroom into a workroom and designed batches and batches of badges to sell. The deal was simple: we’d sell enough badges to pay him back for the cost of the badge-making device and original batch of materials. We never sold any badges, but I learned an early lesson about start-up costs.

My family’s money situation influenced me greatly as an adult. They knew how to use credit, and when I was 22 years old, they helped me apply for my first credit card. I remember once being at a friend’s house, and my mother pulling up to get me in our new car, and my friend’s mother saying, “What bank did your family rob?” Later, she called my mom to ask how we were able to have what we have, and my mother helped her apply for credit, too.

When it was time to pay for college, there was a lot of stress, and weird messaging. I thought it was being paid for, but eventually, I needed to pay off a significant amount of student loans. All of these experiences played various roles in shaping my money mindset. I had to unlearn a lot of negative messaging, and really think through the employee versus entrepreneur stories I internalized.

Tell us more about your education and career path.

I earned an MFA in creative writing several years ago. I’m currently an Assistant Professor of Scholarly Writing & Humanities. I’m a writer of creative nonfiction, and I’m an on stage, contemporary storyteller.

Entrepreneur Amanda Page relaxing on a window seat

What do you think is one of the most difficult money or career challenges for women?

I think the most difficult money and career challenge for women is self-worth. I know so many women who struggle with imposter syndrome or have a hard time negotiating for themselves. We’re not socialized to ask for what we want – or believe we should have that. A more confident mindset is life-changing for a lot of women, myself included.

I really had to change the story I told myself about what I was capable of AND what I deserved before I could earn enough to make a real difference in my life.

For instance, I had this story I told myself about how I had no follow-through. I used the Badge-It as an example in that narrative to prove to myself that I had a long history of no follow-through. The fact that I didn’t sell enough badges to pay back my father was somehow still influencing how I thought of myself as an adult. The truth is: I learned follow-through. It’s not fixed. You can practice it. And I did, by paying off my student loans.

What’s one thing you’ve learned about money that you can you share with our readers?

You need to know where your money goes. When you know how much fat is in your budget, you know how to cut it. Spend on what you value and if you find yourself feeling guilty about it – stop! Money is meant to be used.

Emergency funds are important and debt freedom is great, but so is investing in yourself. Even the money I spent to start Dream Beyond Debt (my former blog) was money I was investing in myself and my future.

You are worth the investment. Bet on yourself.

Entrepreneur Amanda Page in Scotland

What does your work-life balance look like and how do you stay healthy?

I’ve got terrible work-life balance. I’m always working either for my teaching gig, my creative writing, paid writing, blogging, or doing something for the arts organization where I run literary events. I stay healthy by walking my dogs, spending time with my dogs and my friends, and avoiding sugar and alcohol.

How would you help a good friend who struggles with money?

I try to model good financial behavior, and I encourage like crazy. Since I put so much of my financial life on the internet, my friends are a lot less scared to ask me questions and trust me with real numbers from their own finances. I’m happy to talk things through, recommend resources, and remind them that they can.

Remember that money isn’t evil, and you’re not bad for wanting more of it. When you have more money, you can give more freely. The world needs more people who have healthy relationships with money. You can be one of those people.

What is your small business and how did it get started?

My creative writing and blog are side jobs but here’s what I am really excited about! I’m starting a business to coach writers, bloggers, and small business owners to tell their best stories, elevate their mindset, and reach their potential.

Entrepreneur Amanda Page in Scotland
One component of my business will be hosting retreats for writers! The first retreat is set for July 6 – 13, 2019 on the Isle of Skye – just west of Scotland. That’s right – Scotland! If you are looking to infuse some magic into your creative life, then join in!

We’ll talk, we’ll share, we’ll laugh, and we’ll write. You choose the project. You’ll leave with a new understanding about yourself as a creative, and you’ll have a plan for becoming the next version of yourself as an artist (and that includes entrepreneurship) that you’ve identified while on Skye.

Read a little more about the retreat here. I’m incredibly excited and I’ll be sharing more about the Isle of Skye Writing Retreat soon!

The Women Who Money team appreciates you sharing more about your work and how you got excited about becoming an entrepreneur! We look forward to following your progress on your new passion project, Amanda!

Entrepreneurial women share stories about themselves, their relationship with money, and running a small business - this week meet Amanda Page. #entrepreneur #microbusiness #writer #author #blogger #money #story

Enough With Being A Financial Moron, Be Happy Instead

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

If you started saving money as a teenager, you’re retiring in your 30’s, or if you have a 7-figure net worth already – you might not need to read this book.

If you preferred to discuss compound interest in college rather than the locations of the best happy hours – you might not need to read this book.

smiling winking emoji face
Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash

Never tried to keep up with the Joneses – you might not need to read this book.

If you don’t have to ask what VTSAX and VBTLX mean – you might not need to read this book.

If you’ve absolutely mastered money, no matter your age – you might not need to read this book either (but we think you’d still enjoy it!)

But if you’re like many people struggling with money or if you’re figuring out your finances but still need to learn more ways to pay down debt, save, and invest – this book is for you.

It’s also for you if you aren’t OK with the status quo and like a challenge!

If you live in a high cost-of-living area and see no way out or if you think you might need a nursing home before you could ever retire – this book is for you. And if you just want a fun read that’ll probably teach you a few things along the way – it’s for you too.

The Groovy Guide To Financial Independence

We might be biased because we know the Groovy’s and we’re sure they didn’t make any of this up. He was a financial moron and he admits it. But when he met Mrs. Groovy and they got married, they turned things around – in their 40’s. They retired early 14 years later.

They’re pretty normal people (OK – they go by the Groovy’s, so as normal as you think they might be!) They had normal jobs, normal debt, and they made lots of money mistakes – just like us, and like many of you.

What wasn’t normal was their response to their money problems. They quit blaming everyone else for being two adults with a bunch of debt who really hadn’t focused on their future that much. And they took charge of their situation and did something about it.

Now Mr. Groovy is challenging you to question your finances and think about your future.

He’ll make you think and he’ll make you laugh. He’ll tell you stories but back up his ideas with research and numbers. If you keep an open mind, he’ll show you how you can retire in 14 years too. And he’ll even answer your questions if you ask.

We could go through a bunch of the chapter titles but pulling out some of the sub-headings reveals more. The topics include:

  • Don’t Wage War Against Your Body
  • Strategic Ignorance
  • Life is the Ultimate Group Project
  • Go to College but Don’t Get Totally Scammed
  • Be Half Normal
  • Put Medical Tourism on Your Radar
  • The “Arbitrages” – Geoarbitrage, Spatial Arbitrage, and Ego Arbitrage
  • Get Rid of What Makes You Unhappy

Not your normal headings because this isn’t the “normal” way of looking at life. Sadly, “normal” will likely keep you deep in debt, working 40 or more hours a week until you’re in your late 60’s or 70’s, stressed, unhappy, and with few options.

That’s why stepping back and taking a look through a new lens (or set of groovy glasses) is important.

You’ll see some common topics in the book – with a Groovy twist. There are chapters titles including, Spend Less Than You Earn, Automate Saving and Investing, and Protect Yourself from the Unexpected. Mr. G’s advice is aligned with some advice you’ve likely heard before – but none of it is exactly the same.

When you’re getting your financial act together later than you wanted, “traditional” advice won’t always work. Unless you want to stay working for a long time. A really long time.

You can download this super groovy 220-page book on Amazon. And while you’re at it, what about picking one up for a family member or friend?

Are any of the people closest to you financial morons? We thought maybe. This book is a great way to get them to take a look at their finances in a new way. If they have a sense of humor, they’ll be hooked.

We’ve read a ton of personal finance books and blogs over the years. Mr. Groovy has an awesome “voice” in the personal finance community and a great story to share.  And there’s a little something extra.

All chapters include a bonus section with the words from bloggers in the personal finance space, adding their thoughts on the particular chapter topics.

We were pretty happy about that and if you read the book, you’ll see why. We think you’ll enjoy the book as much as we did.

Grab your copy today! Peace out.

cover photo for a Book Review: The Groovy Guide To Financial Independence

Celebrating The Women Finalists In The 9th Annual Plutus Awards

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

Please join us in congratulating all the finalists in the Plutus Awards this year, but let’s give a great big shout out to all the women on the list. The women kicked-ass this year dominating many categories!

four women jumping in celebration with the sunsetting behind them

The Plutus Awards was established in 2009 by the founder of Consumerism Commentary, Harlan Luke Landes. Consumerism Commentary was one of the first independent blogs to focus exclusively on personal finance, particularly from the consumers’ perspective. As the community of independent financial publishers grew, Landes saw the need for the community to support each other and to advocate for itself and its legitimate place within the larger community of financial media. That remains part of the mission today, as the Plutus Awards also serve to influence the financial industry by providing accolades for the companies that develop the best products and services.

There are 5 finalists in each category with the exception of Podcast of the Year and Blog of the Year which each have 10 finalists. A link to the complete list of finalists can be found at the bottom of this post.

Best Family Finance Blog presented by FamZoo

Best New Personal Finance Book presented by Club Thrifty

  • Get Money by Kristin Wong – We reviewed Kristin’s book on WWM
  • The Year of Less by Cait Flanders – We haven’t officially reviewed Cait’s book yet, but we love Cait and did give a few copies of the book away on WWM
  • You’re a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero – Definitely on our list of books to read!

Best Series: Blog, Podcast, or Video – all 5 nominations WOMEN

Best Retirement Blog presented by Roger Whitney

Best International Personal Finance Blog presented by MapleMoney

  • Half Banked -Desirae’s on a mission to help you use your money to live a life you love
  • Mixed Up Money – Alyssa strives to make money real, relatable, easy, and fun

Best Generation X or Baby Boomer Blog

  • Debt Free Divas -The Divas are working hard to cultivate a community who supports, encourages, and motivates one another on to shared goals
  • Life Zemplified – Amy is the other co-founder of WWM and WMT
  • My Debt Epiphany -Choncé wants to help transform who you are, finding your purpose through improving your finances

Best Millennial or Generation Z Blog

  • Bitches Get Riches -The mission of the Bitches, Piggy and Kitty, is to share new advice for a changed world
  • Dumpster Dog Blog – Amanda’s blog is the place for hilarious, smart, financial advice for young women
  • Fiery Millennials – Gwen writes primarily to the young kids in college, the ones who’ve just graduated and the young professionals
  • Millennial Boss – J paid off nearly $100k of debt and is on her way to financial independence and hopes to inspire you to do the same
  • Money After Graduation – Bridget provides an online financial literacy resource for young professionals who want to build long-term wealth

Best Real Estate Blog

  • Cashflow Kat – Kat discusses real estate investing for the part-time investor or side hustler
  • Hipster Investments – Ali’s site is for those looking for easy, hands-off real estate investing

Best Financial Planner Blog

  • Hilary Hendershott – Hilary’s mission is to motivate women to be financially empowered and to support women in their financial journey

Best Multi-Author Blog or Co-Hosted Podcast

Best Use of Social Media presented by Mother of Marketing

These links are to their Twitter accounts, although they may be more active on other social media platforms

Community Builder Award

Best Student Debt/Student Loan Blog presented by Financial Panther

  • All She Saves – Krystel’s blog is a guide to saving money and living a debt-free life
  • Beyond a Budget – Emily along with her husband Joel write to help others achieve financial success by learning to manage money and get out of debt
  • Debt to Riches – Veronika is ditching debt and finding freedom
  • Wise Mind Money – Emilie is a mindful millennial focused on paying off debt and building wealth

Best Freelancer/Contributor presented by Fidelity

Best Investing Blog or Podcast presented by DollarSprout

  • Looks like we need to step up our game here ladies!

Best Debt Freedom Blog presented by Monica Louie

  • Debt to Riches – Veronika is ditching debt and finding freedom
  • Hope and Cents – Alaya’s mission is to be a source of hope, encouragement, and information for those struggling with their finances.
  • Jackie Beck – Jackie provides tutorials and information about paying off debt and money-related topics that touch us all
  • Prudence Debt Free – Ruth writes about her journey out of debt – check out her story here on WMT

Best Personal Finance YouTube Channel presented by Penny Pinchin’ Mom

Best Entrepreneurship/Side Hustle Blog or Podcast presented by Monica Louie

  • Amanda Abella – Amanda’s goal is to help women make more money
  • Flea Market Flipper – Melissa and her husband Rob share how they flip things for a living (since 2012!)

Best Finance Blog for Women presented by Women’s Money Talk

We are thrilled to sponsor this award!

Best Frugality Blog

  • Saving Joyfully – Andrea focuses on learning to save more and live better
  • She Picks Up Pennies – Penny aims to live a more purposeful life one cent at a time
  • The Frugal Convert – Gina helps you take frugal steps towards a debt-free life
  • Yes, I Am Cheap – Sandy strives to help you make money, get out of debt, and live you best financial life

Best Financial Independence/Retire Early Blog or Podcast presented by WalletHacks

Best New Personal Finance Podcast

Best New Personal Finance Blog presented by Deacon Hayes

  • Rich and Regular – Kiersten and husband Julien serve as an example of a lifestyle that is both fulfilling and attainable
  • Victori Media – Tori provides personal finance and career advice for the ambitious millennial woman
  • Xennial Blogger – Stephanie wants to help you grow your money with simple steps to and create financial independence, one dollar at a time.

Lifetime Achievement

  • Donna Freedman – Donna is a former newspaper journalist who now writes about personal finance for Money Talks News and various other websites and magazines. She is also a book author – here’s a WWM review of them.
  • Liz Weston -Liz is a CFP, an award-winning, nationally syndicated personal finance columnist, and author of five books.
  • Paula Pant – Paula is the founder of the award-winning website AffordAnything, podcaster, writer, and speaker specializing in money, business and real estate investing.

Podcast of the Year presented by Steve Stewart

Blog of the Year

You can find a full list of all finalists in each category here.

And for People’s Choice

There’s still time to cast your vote! There are so many amazing women writing, podcasting, and working in the financial arena – vote for your favorite.

Winner will be announced on September 28th live at the Plutus Awards in Orlando, FL.

female raising her arm in celebration while looking at a tablet

Marketing Tips For Growing Your Small Business Today

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

The importance of investing in quality marketing when you are running a small business cannot be overlooked. Competition is fierce across industries and it’s important to get your brand out there for recognition by potential clients.

someone typing out the word marketing on an old typeweriter

Now, this won’t be achievable if you’re using marketing ideas from the last century, or even from the last decade. It’s time to level up and upgrade your marketing game to get the results you desire and propel your small business into the big leagues. And the marketing tips in this article are going to enable you to do just that.

Start by Checking Out Your Competition

If you want to upgrade your business’s marketing game seeing what others in your industry are doing is a must. That way you can check out what works and what you shouldn’t waste your money on. Of course, it is important to focus on companies of similar size and revenue as yours. It’s hard to follow the marketing efforts of big corporations with a lot more funds to invest in their promotion and marketing channels.

The easiest way to figure out what works best for your competitors is observing what marketing tools they keep returning to over and over again. For example, if they keep running Facebook ads quite often, it’s an indicator they’ve had some return on their investment (ROI) through that form of promotion. Otherwise, they wouldn’t throw money at it so often. That is If they are making smart business decisions.

Have your Clients Help You Out

There is no better advertisement for your business than word of mouth. And testimonials are formal forms of expression supporting that concept.

Having your customers say why they keep coming back or explaining which of your services or products they are the most satisfied with can do wonders for your brand and your business. And most of them will do it for free because they like your business or enjoy what your company offers.

Reviews are also something most people look up before opting for a certain service or product. This makes it important to provide your customers with everything they need to go home satisfied.

Great customer service can help you avoid any bad reviews that could potentially damage your business. And negative reviews can be quite damaging if they pile up. They are the first thing your potential customers see when they google your small business.

Embrace the Value of Offline Marketing

Offline marketing options like quality promotional products and stands at local stores or industry events can also provide a great deal of promotion for your company. Use promotional products as a form of a gift to loyal customers, or simply distribute them with every purchase. People will use and wear them which naturally promotes your brand and your company.

Kiosks or stands are a great way to introduce customers to your product or service if you are in an industry that can benefit from the face to face communication with potential clients. So not only will you be able to sell off some of your merchandise, you will also develop personal relationships and possibly future partnerships. You can have these types of stands in local stores, markets or your industry related events.

You Know We Need to Touch On Social Media

In today’s digital world, social media is something you cannot afford to neglect. The power of it is vast, and it can literally make or break your business. Keeping active social media accounts and even advertising through them is an absolute must for your small business marketing.

Of course, you don’t need to be everywhere at once. Based on the industry you operate in, and the type of product or service you offer, you can decide which social media platforms suit you the most and simply focus on them.

There is no need to spread yourself thin by trying to manage all of them at once. And make sure you also don’t overdo your media blitz. Spamming your customers with irrelevant information and content can do your small business more harm than good. A well structured social media campaign is a must.

Simple Marketing Tips, Bit Results

These tips are simple to apply but can significantly upgrade your small business’s marketing game. And let’s face it – in today’s business world, marketing is probably the most important tool for bringing in new customers. So why not take the time and create a great on- and offline marketing approach to truly bring a visible ROI to your small business? It’ll be worth your effort!

Article contributed by Emma Worden, a business manager from Sydney. She enjoys reading and writing on business topics and giving advice and tips through her texts. Emma frequently writes for BizzmarkBlog and can be found on Twitter @EmmaRWorden

Avani’s A Single Mother Who Went From Minimum Wage To $90K Annually

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

By Monica Da Ponte on Strive

pink and orange flowers displayed in a mug being held by female hands

As the saying goes, when life serves you lemons, you make lemonade. Despite the challenges, that is what Avani a single mother of two managed to do. Avani immigrated to Canada almost 15 years ago; she was driven by the opportunity to live in a country that offered economic growth, high standards of living, best in class education and peace of mind.

Meet Avani

  • Early 40’s
  • Specialized dialysis nurse
  • Immigrated to Canada almost 15 years ago
  • Studied nursing internationally and re-certified in Canada
  • Started earning minimum wage
  • Personal income of $90,000

Born and educated in India, Avani always believed that she deserved more than she was able to get in her country.  She was confident in her ability to put in the hard work needed for achieving success. Immediately after finishing her nursing school, Avani was offered a job in Dubai as a nurse. She worked in Dubai for a few years and eventually decided to immigrate to Canada.

In her late twenties, newly married Avani was excited about starting life in Canada, arriving with a small savings of $20,000.  Avani and her husband planned their life and thought carefully about how they were going to use their small savings to cover the all the expenses they were about to face.  They moved into a small basement and started hunting for jobs immediately.

Avani began working as a personal caregiver while her husband started working at KFC. Earning minimum wage, they brought in around $3,000 a month.  Barely able to make ends meet, they eventually exhausted their savings and were living paycheque to paycheque.  

As Avani was unable to practice as a nurse until she passed the Canadian Registered Nursing exam, they saw the exam as the gateway to helping them live a more comfortable life. Given that hourly wages for nurses in Ontario start at $21.75 an hour and go as high as $40 an hour with benefits[1], passing the exam would help them leapfrog into a significantly higher income bracket.

Avani was determined to pass the exam because she knew that being a Registered Nurse would more than double her income. For Avani, the exam became her only priority. She would work long hours and then study. “We had not even seen or visited the shops in our neighborhood yet, thinking we will have ample amount of time for that later.” With persistence and determination, she passed the exam on her first attempt and secured a full-time job at McKenzie Healthcare.

There was no looking back for her after that. It was just perfect and everything was finally falling into place. They moved into a bigger and better house, bought a car, and had two kids.  Within 3 years in Canada, Avani was once again happy and stable.

But destiny had other plans. Within a few months of working at McKenzie Health, her husband started to reject both his financial and emotional responsibilities.  Avani became the sole earner, covering all the rent and expenses. Things started to spiral downward quickly.  A frustrated Avani, thinking of the well being of the kids who were now 5, and 2 years old, decided to leave her husband.  She dreamed of a stress-free and happier life.

The divorce was messy with her husband refusing to take on any responsibility for the kids. After months of arguments and counter-arguments, Avani agreed to forgo any alimony or child support in exchange for full custody of her kids. Now she had the responsibility of bringing up two kids all by herself. This gave her a sense of urgency and responsibility, which was a source of strength.

She started working harder and was determined to excel in her career, move away from distractions, focus and find ways to save money!

Avani ’s salary now ranges from $40,000 to $50,000. And her kids’ education and well-being took center stage. She decided to move to a smaller town to cut down on her rent and expenses. “Moving to a smaller town was one of the best decisions of my life.” She was able to reduce her rent by 20% and her other monthly expense like grocery and travel by 10-15%. Avani then thought of how she could fulfill her dreams of owning a house with this extra sum. She started setting small goals, and developed a focus on ways to earn more and spend less. Simple logic she says.

Once the kids were settled in with their new school, neighbourhood and studies, Avani started doing 10 hour shifts as this was the only way she could earn enough to realize her dreams. “The cost of living has more than doubled since I first moved to Canada. The expenses keep increasing but the pay remained the same.” Soon the 10 hr shifts increased to 12 hour shifts and shuttling between two hospitals. This took a toll on her ability to give time to her kids.

Economic security was important to her and she did not see another way to get it. She asked her parents to come live with her from time to time and she had to fork out quite a sum on a nanny. She also worked hard to spend as much quality time with the kids on weekends and holidays.

Day to day, Avani worked on earning more and spending less. 

She made sure that she kept aside at least $100-$200 every paycheque. Being a self made independent mother she taught her kids from a very young age the importance and value of money. “Kids want lot of stuff, stuff which is not important. I would only buy things that were important and justified the money spent.” Every penny was carefully accounted for.  Avani was careful and deliberate about her expenses on everything from food and clothing to appliances and gadgets.

Within 5 years, she had put aside over $10,000 from her paycheque savings, and combined with all her tax benefits and bonuses, she was able to build savings of $50,000. This period was a time of extreme practicality, frugality and prudence.  She trained for specialized medical areas and became a highly recommended and sought after dialysis nurse, earning $90,000 annually.

Finally her long unfulfilled dream of becoming a homeowner was on the verge of realization. She was approved for a home loan.

Today Avani is the proud owner of a beautiful 4 bedroom independent house with a monthly mortgage of $2,000.  A major chunk of her salary still goes towards the mortgage and other expenses but she believes it is worth it.  It gives her security, fulfills her need be independent and gives the children a good home and real life education on the importance of working hard for your goals and managing money.  She contributes regularly towards her RRSP to her permitted limit and has also invested in mutual funds. She showed good investment acumen and bought a few plots of land in India. She believes these will secure her retirement or prove to be a good asset to liquidate in case of an emergency.

Having achieved her dream house and successfully raising her kids on her own, she is happy and proud of all she has accomplished.

Avani ’s tips to manage your money!

  • Try to earn more and spend less
  • Put aside small amounts whenever you can
  • Buy things you need not want
  • Put yourself in environments that are less expensive
  • Pre-authorize payments on all your bills
  • Stick to the grocery list, don’t overspend

[1] Registered Nurses Association of Ontario, Retrieved April 26 from http://careersinnursing.ca/new-grads-and-job-seekers/find-nursing-job/dollars-and-sense-what-are-nurses-paid

Republished with permission from Strive

How To Discuss The Money Topic With A Romantic Partner

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

The more often partners engage in a fight over a money topic, the more likely the couple is to separate. In fact, the frequency of financial disputes has been recognized as the single best predictor of divorce. Beating out fights about sex, children, and division of household labor.

couple holding hands waling done paved street

Reports claim couples who have a disagreement about their finances at a rate of once per week are 30% more likely to divorce than couples who admit to having a money based argument a few times per month.

These statistics lead one to wonder, why so many people split over money.

Why is Money such a Combative Topic?

Opposites Attract.

According to this Psychology Today article, there are two types of money personalities: the spender and the saver. The spender doesn’t place a lot of value on money. To them, money is only valuable in that you can spend it on the things they want. The spender takes a short-term, instant gratification stance on money.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the saver. The saver sees money as invaluable. The value of money lies in saving it. The saver has more of a long-term outlook. They see the value in delaying gratification so they can achieve more significant gains in the future.

According to a Forbes interview with David Bach, author of “Smart Couples Finish Rich,” “financial opposites attract.”

So, if you’re a saver, then you are likely to find yourself attracted to a partner who likes to shop and spend.

Talking about money is still taboo.

An article by the American Psychological Association says our beliefs about money, and our ability to talk about money, are primarily affected by how your family discussed the topic.

Did you grow up in a family where it was okay to talk about money? Or, were you told it was rude and inappropriate to discuss topics of personal finance?

A lack of financial literacy.

When you don’t know the first thing about your personal finances how do you initiate a conversation about money with your romantic partner? Where do you start? How do you articulate a financial goal or problem you don’t understand? What do you do if one, or both, of you don’t feel confident enough in your financial knowledge to even approach a discussion about money?

It’s a charged topic.

When you are in a relationship, it’s likely one person makes more money than the other. This can create a power dynamic. “I make more money so I should make more of the decisions.”

Despite living in a more progressive time and society, we still need to talk about the fact that there are some deep-rooted gender norms. A 2017 Refinery article caused quite a stir when it stated women who made more money often felt “ashamed”.

Sad, but true.

Additionally, other studies have found when women earn more than their male partner it can increase their chance of divorce by 50%.

So, times are a-changin’… but slowly.

There’s still a lot more work needing to be done to ensure women are able to feel proud of their achievements and to remove the belief that a man’s value is tied to his ability to bring home the fatter paycheck.

Again, many of these gender norms are ingrained in us by our families and our upbringing. We might not even be aware of them until faced with a situation bringing us discomfort and making us question where we stand on the issue.

When to Approach the Money Topic with Your Partner

The answer is right now!

If you are in a serious, committed relationship, one that you see continuing into the future, then the time is now. If you see marriage in your future, if you are engaged, if you are planning to buy a house, if you are co-puppy parents, then you MUST have a conversation about money.

For real.

You absolutely should not be saying “I do” before you’ve had a serious conversation about money. If it feels awkward now imagine how terrible it will be in 10 years if you end up in a nasty divorce situation with three kids, 2 dogs, and $50,000 in consumer debt.

Yikes!

This might seem unrealistic, but it happens all the time.

How to Approach the Money Topic with Your Partner

Schedule it.

Step one is to get it in the calendar. Write it down, put it in google calendar or find a cool new app you can both use to coordinate your time.

Do it in a public place.

This will help to keep things calm and cool. It will also help to keep you focused on the topic at hand.

It’s too easy to get distracted at home, so take this conversation somewhere public, at least for the first few conversations until you are on the same financial page.

If you are a couple who gets a little heated when you talk about finances, you might want to continue meeting outside of the house indefinitely.

Do it regularly.

Make financial date nights a regular occurrence. How often you want to chat is up to you. If you are just getting things figured out then maybe you need to meet more frequently (every week or every second week).

If you are facing a significant expense, re-balancing your investment portfolio or some other major financial event then talk more often. However, once you feel like you have things under control maybe once a month is all you need.

Share in awareness.

If you have shared finances, then you should both know what is going on with your money. Don’t put your head in the sand and let your partner deal with it. What if one day that partner isn’t there to do it for you?

It’s your responsibility to know how much you have in savings and investments. You should both know the passwords to all of your shared accounts. Learn together, teach each other, motivate each other!

Divide responsibility.

Ideally, this would be a clean 50/50 split. Easy! But, the reality is one person is usually better with money and/or tends to care more about the budgeting and tracking of finances.

You’ll need to discuss who is going to pay what bills, and who is going to manage investments. Maybe one person agrees to take over full responsibility but inform the other partner. Or, perhaps you do find some way of sharing the burden.

There is no one size fits all solution.

You need to do what works for you and your partner. There is no step-by-step method that works for everyone. The most important thing is being open and honest with each other. Remember, you are both coming from different money backgrounds, be patient and listen to what your partner has to say.

 

What to Discuss with Your Partner

The basics.

Here’s a preliminary list of questions that you should have addressed before you walk down the aisle, move in with each other, take out a loan together, or any other major financial commitment. This list is not exhaustive, but it’s a great place to start.

  • Do you have any debt?
  • Have you ever experienced bankruptcy?
  • What is your credit score?
  • Do you pay your credit card balance in full every month?
  • Are you a spender or a saver?
  • Who’s paying for what?
  • Do you have a savings account?
  • Do you follow a budget?
  • What are your financial goals?
  • Do you want to rent or own a home?

For more details on why these questions are so important, check out this post: 10 Questions you should ask your Romantic Partner about Money

If you and your partner have not had discussed the money topic and your financial goals, now is the time to book your first financial date using these tips. #money #relationship #partner #moneyinrelationship #ourmoney #hismoney #hermoneyWhat is our budget?

Developing a budget can be as simple as writing down a few numbers on a piece of paper. In fact, the simpler, the better. At least when you are first getting started.

Begin by writing down what you both make. Be honest.

Then start listing your expenses, fixed (rent, car loan, utilities) then your variable (eating out, entertainment, etc.). If your expenses are more than your income, you have a problem needing to be addressed immediately.

The end result should be a mutual awareness and understanding about how much you make, how much you need to spend on essentials, how much you can spend on nonessentials and how much you need to be saving to achieve your goals.

Figure out how much each of you will contribute. This can be a difficult decision for couples. If you make $100,000/year and your partner makes $50,000/year do you just split expenses down the middle or do you do it by percentage of income. E.g., if all of our expenses (rent, utilities, other bills) cost $2000/month do you each pay $1000 or does the person making $100k pay $1500 while the person who makes $50k only pays $500?

There’s no right answer. The only way to figure out what is going to work in your situation is to talk it out.

Figure out a strategy that works for you.

Are you going to pool all of your money into one shared bank account? This strategy was common among older generations, mainly because there was often only one breadwinner (the man).

Or, are you going to maintain completely separate bank accounts?

Maybe you are somewhere in the middle with a shared account for all of the bills and then separate accounts for your own money.

Again, there’s no right answer here.

Repeat.

Once you’ve had the tough conversations, made all of the decisions and put your plans into action, there’s still one more step. In order to keep the momentum going, you need to ensure you are continuously following up and communicating with each other.

When a relationship is going well the last thing you want to do is think about the “what ifs.”

What if we break up, what if this ends in divorce, what if…..but, we can’t predict the future. So, it’s essential to have these conversations when you are in a good place, with a clear head.

Normalize the topic of money by having regular conversations. There’s no reason topics of money and personal finance should be off of the table.

Having an open dialogue will allow you and your partner to be on the same page. It will prevent major financial surprises, and it will enable you to work towards specific financial goals together….planning a wedding, a vacation or even for a family.

So, if you and your partner have not had a discussion about money and your financial goals then now is the time to book your first financial date!

Article contributed by, JJ a professional researcher and aspiring freelance writer. She is interested in all things related to personal finance, psychology, women, and motherhood. 
Follow JJ on her blog, Twitter, and Pinterest. 

It’s Never Too Late To Improve Your Money And Life

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

Hi, I’m Ruth (aka Prudence Debtfree), and I live in a suburb of Ottawa, Canada’s national capital city. I’m 55 years old, and my husband David is 59. Of our 3 daughters, two are in their 20s and have flown the nest, and the youngest, 19, continues to live with us.

prudence debt free 3

David and I earn a household income that is above average, but it’s not as high as the income we used to receive before the high tech bust of the early millennium sent us reeling.

Before the tough times set in, we had a bad habit of maxing out, and our debt-to-income ratio (total debt divided by total take-home income) just kept increasing. We carried our debts comfortably, and we thought we were doing fine.

With a sharp decrease in income, our debts suddenly became oppressive. After having worked for 10 years as a part-time teacher and then having resigned with the birth of our 3rd child to be a stay-at-home mom, I needed to go back to work full time.

My income as a teacher was much lower than David’s salary as an engineer had been, and there was never enough money. It took a long time for David to carve out a new career path – 6 years – and in that time, our relentless financial stress played into marital and parenting strife that combined to create an awful scenario that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I felt like a victim of circumstances at the time, but with hindsight, I know things didn’t have to be as bad as they were. By maxing out, we had set ourselves up to feel any bumps in the road keenly. Many other people were also experiencing career upheaval at the time, but some absorbed it so much more easily than we did.

I remember a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of many children, telling me about her husband’s job loss. He managed to find another position that paid 20% less than his previous work, “but we paid off the house 3 years ago, so it’s OK,” she said. And they gave 10% of the severance package he’d received to a homeless shelter. So different from us!

What is Your Money Blueprint?

Why had we managed money so poorly in the years when we had a high household income? One of the most powerful concepts David and I came across once we had decided to tackle our debts was from T. Harv Eker’s book, Secrets of The Millionaire Mind. That concept was the money blueprint.

Eker encourages his readers to consider the messages about money, spoken and unspoken that we absorbed in childhood. These messages, he says, create the money blueprint by which we each continue to operate in adulthood – usually without being aware of it.

In late May of 2012, just a week before we would start our journey out of all debt, I wrote my second ever blog post about the money blueprints David and I would have to overcome. To sum it up briefly:

  • David realized he had learned that money was something to worry about and that it needed to be controlled. Result? When things were going well financially, he would initiate a big purchase – a new car, furniture, a trip … – so that he could get back to the homeostasis of worry and control about money again.
  • I realized that despite the excellent role modeling I’d had from my frugal parents, money was a taboo topic, and it was laden with guilt. I had a false angel on one shoulder saying that money-management was shallow. I had a real devil on the other shoulder telling me that if I whined loudly enough, I’d get to spend what I wanted. I also had a deep-seated expectation that “the man” would take care of all money matters.

So a combination of worry, chaos, control, over-spending, denial, gendered roles, and confused financial motives led to our mess.

“Aha!” Dave Ramsey & The Total Money Makeover

Our 6 six years of intense financial stress came to an end when David started a home business (complete with a business debt) in 2009. Encouragement came quickly, and before long we felt the huge relief of “going back to normal again.” But as our old habits surfaced, we had a vague sense that something wasn’t right. “Normal” felt hazardous.

Again, in hindsight, we have clarity about what was going on, but at that time we were still operating without a compass. This was actually our most vulnerable time. With the business debt and a still uncertain income, our debt-to-income ratio was well over 300% – nearing the level at which many bankruptcies happen.

Although we didn’t realize how tenuous our “new normal” was, we wanted to do better with our finances – to get away from the vague hazard we felt. But our efforts were scattered. Save a bit. Pay off the car debt more aggressively. Oops! Maybe that was too aggressive! Borrow from the line of credit to make the mortgage payment …

In the spring of 2012, a friend of mine dropped off a copy of a book-CD by someone named Dave Ramsey: The Total Money Makeover. After letting it sit by the front door for several weeks, I felt a slightly irritated obligation to listen to it, so mid-May, I popped it into the CD player for my commutes to and from work.

And that changed everything.

By day #2 of listening, I was crying. Not tears of sadness, but tears of revelation and hope! We had too much debt! We had always had too much debt. We’d been dupes of the marketing powers of a debt-ridden culture, and we had the power to change that! We had the power to change us!

I stayed up late that night listening to the CD again with David, and when I eventually fell asleep, he kept listening – long into the night. And we were both convinced. Both psyched to take on this beast!

Team Approach

We had never managed our finances as a team, so it was awkward to make the transition. I had to yank my financial head out of the sand, and David had to release his compulsion to control/worry. Our first attempts at tracking and budgeting were really messy and way off. Our weekly budget “dates” (ha!) were often marked by conflict and irritability. But we made immediate progress!

In June of 2012, aged 49 and 53, our debts were:

  • $21,000 in consumer debt
  • $81,000 in business debt
  • $155,000 in mortgage debt
  • $257,000 total debt

I started my blog for 3 reasons:

  1. I love to write.
  2. I wanted to keep myself accountable.
  3. I believed that what we were doing was important – not just for us, but for others who needed and wanted to do the same.

David is leery of online financial tools, so we’ve just used a spreadsheet to keep our numbers visible. And here is the amazing thing our numbers revealed after the first year of our journey out of debt:

  • In the year before we officially started our debt snowball – keep in mind this was a year when we were trying to “do better” with our finances – we paid off $16,000 in debt.
  • In the year after we officially started our debt snowball, we paid off $50,000 in debt.

With no difference in income, and with no difference in expenses, we increased our debt-repayment by 312% – !!!!!

Sacrifice? Not really.

So what exactly was our secret? Two words: intention and focus. We were on a mission to get out of debt, and we didn’t allow ourselves to scatter our efforts as we had the year before.

Our lifestyle became more frugal, but nothing close to the extremes of frugality featured on reality TV or even in many personal finance blogs.

We let go of our cleaning service and had to figure out a team approach to get the house-cleaning done. We didn’t travel much. We put limits on our discretionary money – his and hers. When big purchases were necessary (like a new roof), we slowed down our debt-repayment and saved until we could pay outright. We played more board games and card games, and we went out less often. We hosted more meals and potlucks and dined out less often. We said, “No thanks” to many invitations that involved spending. Our groceries were budgeted.

We don’t feel like we’ve missed out on much – in fact, we’ve gained the confidence that comes with asserting boundaries – and we don’t expect to change many aspects of our lifestyle in the years to come. We’ll travel more, and we’ll give more, but budgets, board games, potlucks, buying without debt, and team house-cleaning are here to stay. So are focus and intention with regards to our finances.

In December of 2017, after following Ramsey’s plan for 5 years and 7 months, we had paid off just under $200,000 of our debt, we’d saved an emergency fund, and we’d ramped up our investments.

An inheritance then allowed us to speed up the last 20% – our remaining $60,000 mortgage. We had been on track to be debt-free in June of 2019, but we’ll now make the last payment against our mortgage (without any penalty) in September of 2018.

prudence debt free
Soon, I’ll be taking a bare-footed walk across this grass!

My Advice

My advice to anyone struggling with money – particularly if that person is middle-aged and has been through significant financial upheaval:

  • Own your financial situation. Circumstances outside your control no doubt contributed to your current stress, and you might feel victimized by those circumstances. But focus on what was within your control – and acknowledge where you went wrong. So you can have a guilt-fest? No! So you can harness your power to change!
  • As you take on your money issues, you’ll find it’s not about the money after all. I found that concept annoying at first, but it was true. There was that faulty money blueprint to unearth; character flaws to recognize; dysfunctional patterns of relationship to confront. Let humbling self-realizations surface as you focus on the monthly budgets and tracking. When you deal with them, you will gain confidence.
  • Don’t try to outsource the solution to your financial problems. There is a growing industry out there promising to rescue you from your debt, but be very careful! For example, debt consolidation without changed habits will only free up room on your credit card and lead to greater debt. (I know someone who has consolidated debt 3 times with this result.) Just as a personal trainer can’t do your squats for you, no one else can make your finances healthy. You have to do that. Find your plan of action; find your support network; and then be your own superhero.
  • Be prepared for challenges from others who aren’t comfortable with the changes you are making. Friends who don’t like your refusals to go out to restaurants with them; family members who seem hurt by your ramped-down gift-giving; people who don’t get that you have to do what works for you – not what works for them – as you manage your finances differently. Don’t argue with them, but don’t capitulate either. Learn to stand your ground with grace.
  • If you are in a relationship, share your financial management together. Don’t make the mistake of leaving it all up to one partner. Even if one person is better at it than the other, both people in the couple need to be engaged, aware, and consulted. If you’re like me, this will involve the discomfort of getting your head out of the sand. If you’re like David, it will include the fear of releasing control.
  • Don’t be discouraged by imperfection! Expect your budgets to be inaccurate and your tracking to be incomplete. Your decision-making process will be marked by conflict and uncertainty. Financial progress will be uneven and challenged by the unexpected at every turn. Keep your focus; keep trying; be patient. And maybe your progress amidst the mess will be 312% better – just like ours was.

How to Stay Patient to Achieve Financial Independence

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

“Financial independence is the ability to live from the income of your own personal resources.” – Jim Rohn

Financial independence should be the goal of everyone, but it is not going to happen overnight unless you win the lottery or get a big inheritance. You have to be patient and stay motivated until you reach your financial goals. But it is difficult to be patient year after year while you watch your net worth grow.

patient path to achieve financial independence 2

So the question becomes, how will you be patient as you work to achieve financial independence? Here are nine ideas to help you stay focused and give yourself some credit along the way!

Stay the course, even if the progress is slow

When your progress is slow (and some years it will be…), don’t make the mistake of changing your plans unless you know you’ve made a significant mistake. Stick to your original plan and remind yourself this is a process, not an event. It will be more difficult to measure your plan and progress if you keep changing things chasing after the next big return on your money.

Analyze what you have achieved

Speaking of measuring, take time to look at your progress and determine how far you’ve come. Even seeing small positive steps in the right direction is a reason to pat yourself on the back. Try to stay optimistic and look forward rather than behind.

Set small, realistic goals 

Do a reality check with your goals. You can’t meet a big target like financial independence quickly if you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Scale back and create small wins by setting goals you can achieve within a reasonable timeframe and without creating too many struggles.

Investing is a long-term process

When you invest an amount, it won’t get bigger in a week or sometimes in a year. You need to give some time to your investments. What you’ve invested could even go down in a bad year, but over an extended time, it should rebound and grow.

Break it down

If your goal is to save $35,000 for a down payment on your home in 3 years, set a target to save about $11,666 every year. This is about $970 every month or $225 every week. It seems more achievable when you look at it in smaller payments! You’ll see progress which will help you be more motivated and patient to reach your goals.

Give yourself some credit

When you reach a goal, celebrate the achievement – however small it might be. Splurge a little and don’t feel sorry for doing so. This will help you stay on track until you reach your next goal and eventually financial independence. Just make sure you save your small splurges for these times only so that you don’t get too far off track with your goals.

Make it hard to get at your money

When you have to wait a long time to build wealth, you may feel tempted to spend money you’ve saved or invested on other things. If you have to save three years for that down payment on a house, don’t take the money out to do something different. Resist your temptation and make it hard to access the cash you are building up. That may give you time to change your mind.

Plan and save for your next big purchase

You can’t wait to make every big purchase until you achieve financial freedom. So, what can you do instead? You will have to be patient and plan your big purchases carefully whenever possible. Try to wait for the item to be offered at a discount. Watch for sales and set up alerts to let you know when the price has dropped. Ask at the store when the item might go on sale. You can also consider buying used for some items too.

Things might not go as planned

Even if you are managing your financial life well, there might be some emergency situations that stress your budget and emergency fund. You may even go into debt. Depending on the type of debt problems you’re facing, you have to look for options to solve your debt dilemmas and still remember you can have financial independence in your future.

You may have to be more patient than ever, but in time you can still achieve financial independence.

Article contributed by Good Nelly. She analyzes financial happenings and writes articles to help her readers plan for their financial future. She has been associated with Debt Consolidation Care for a long time, and she’s contributed her pieces to a variety of websites.

Financial independence doesn't happen overnight. Here are 9 ideas to help you stay focused and patient along your way! #financialindependence #FI #personalfinance

Sustainable Slow Travel – Considering the Considerations

Women's Money Talk is sponsored this month by Refi.com - The Simple, No-Hassle Way to Refinance Your Home

Slow Travel – Defined

What is Slow Travel exactly?  Per theartofslowtravel.com the answer is rather simple…

“Slow travel is not so much a particular mode of transportation as it is a mindset. Rather than attempting to squeeze as many sights or cities as possible into each trip, the slow traveler takes the time to explore each destination thoroughly and to experience the local culture.”

sustainable slow travel 2

Slow travel, or wandering, is a way of traveling while living as a local. It means to experience the specific flavor of a destination by engaging in certain activities. Eating like a local – savoring local market delicacies, cooking with the food available and eating in typical fashion of the culture is crucial. Living like a local in an apartment, AirBnB, as a guest in someone’s home or in a hostel avoiding the luxury hotels with room service is also part and parcel of slow travel. To utilize transportation like the locals while you are there – walking, taking the chickenbus, shuttle or uber (if that is the common mode of transport) is part of the experience. This allows you to become worldly in a way that the tourist experience won’t allow. Slow travel is to experience a place as a local NOT as a tourist. It provides a way of traveling and living life less expensively because you are not flitting from place to place. You are savoring the experience. There’s no living out of a suitcase planning your departure to and from the next destination endlessly. You make friends. You enjoy the culture. The best part? It costs less if you choose your location well.

Considering Slow Travel in My Own Life

I have always been a restless person. Moving constantly while I was young, I lived a sort of nomadic life where my parents uprooted our family regularly. I once went to a school for 3 days before my parents realized their error and moved us back to the town we just moved from. Who knows why. Unfortunately, I’ll never know because my parents are no longer living. As a child, I embraced change and flowed easily to one school or the next. I said goodbye to friends as easily as I said hello. I was not terribly sentimental. I was a good student which generally allowed me to fit in. I got used to the chaotic dysfunction that was my parent’s life.

This changed with the final move of my youth. My mother, originally from Georgia, wanted to return to the “sunny” South. Although not planned by my parents, as they were the opposite of racists, my family settled next door to my uncle. I was uprooted and moved into a community where racism and bigotry were the norm. My parents quickly bought land. The decision irreversible. Moving had ceased to be fun.***

I spent four years in a high school torture chamber. I made sure that I slowly but surely built a life of independence. This is when I first became aware of my restlessness. Later, I liked to move a lot along with job hopping. I got bored easily. I thought there was something terribly wrong with me. Finally, I realized that I was comfortable with chaos and dysfunction in my life. My choices reflected this.

When I “grew up”, I attended college, got my degrees at age 30 and 39. Throughout my early nursing career, I invited chaos into my professional life but began to remove it from my personal life. I chose to work in emergency medicine. It was “good” chaos for a lot of years. There was crappy stuff to deal with to be sure, but I had great stories. My career took off. I began to make decent money. I enjoyed collegial relationships with excellent physicians and talented mid-level providers. I enjoyed working with the nurses who were frequently much more like me but sometimes even “crazier” than I. To this day, it is rare that I meet an ER nurse with which I don’t have instant kinship. I think you have to be a little nutty to be an emergency room nurse. That’s not a bad thing. You have to be comfortable working in cuckoo-land. This requires a certain personality profile. It has something to do with being comfortable in chaos, being able to shift, adapt, stay flexible and remain unflappable.

I think this is why the concept of slow travel is so attractive to me. It’s not the exotic experiences, so much (although it is badass, isn’t it?) as it is being comfortable with not knowing what’s coming next. The ability to remain calm and focused, moving through changing landscapes is key to enjoying slow travel. Not knowing exactly where I’ll be in a month or next year….well, I just love that. It fits extremely well with my personality and my need for freedom from boredom.

Is Slow Travel for You?

Slow travel works best when you attain a measure of financial freedom. However, I have met many fellow wanderers lately that think differently. Several have surprised me with their willingness to embrace slow travel with little regard for a long term financial plan. They are slow traveling but have not achieved financial stability let alone financial freedom. Some travelers are young. Some are in their 30’s and 40’s. They decided to live life differently. Some take advantage of a change in life circumstance or a thrown curveball. They jump at a chance to take a break from the expected.

There are the stereotypical “gap year” types — the youth typified by recent graduation from high school or college with no strong pull to get a job, make a living or live in one spot. Their freedom frequently comes from family financial support. That’s a wonderful gift. Tasting freedom early is a blessing. Maybe this one taste will propel them into a life of well timed sabbaticals and world travel that will sustain them through the dreadmill of work. Perhaps, it will keep work from being a dreadmill. They won’t burn out, as I did, because they are able to refresh and rejuvenate themselves at regular intervals.

Others yearn for anything other than normal, rejecting the lives of their parents. They wander to new places, experiences and adventures staying as long as they can keep their boredom at bay. They don’t want to live a life like any other and cannot be compelled to do so. They appear restless. At times, they may appear unmoored. These wanderers move from one place to another because of circumstance or boredom. I am a little bit this.

Nomads may choose a life of slow travel from the get go. Some are educated, have a profession and they have location freedom and independence. They are lucky, skilled and in demand. They have jobs they can take on the road. They parlay their skills into freelancing. They work their own schedule. They only require secure WiFi so they have assured income…”let’s work a little and slow travel a lot, baby”.

Some embrace living on a shoestring. Living life on the “edge”, they figure that it’s better than being chained to anything. These nomads are working, making a little money here and there, making and selling jewelry, trading time for room and board, settling into a job at a tourist bar or guiding hikes on volcanoes. They don’t mind uncertainty.

Some wanderers play the game for years. Patiently trading time for money, they finally achieve enough financial freedom to live life on their own terms or at least take an extended break. They hurl themselves into travel because it’s new, exotic and it smells a lot like freedom from the dreadmill to which they were chained. I am also a little bit this.

My Decision to Slow Travel

Knowing that I had a few years before I became “stale” and less marketable, the time was nigh. I could go back to work if I wanted to but I had a window NOW to make my slow travel dreams come true. I have the knowledge and security of knowing I can obtain another position in my chosen field if I want. Alternately, I have the freedom after saving sufficient assets to reject a similar job. I can change fields completely if I desire it. I recently met another slow traveler wrestling with career decisions and continued marketability if she stayed on the slow travel path. Her story resonated deeply with me because I have the same thoughts and concerns about choosing my future path.

The Conundrum

“Elle” is my age. She’s a professional engineer in Germany. She is 54 years of age, youthful in appearance, physically fit, attractive, vital, intelligent and restless. After being downsized, she began entertaining other job offers (as I did). None “floated her boat”. After a gentle nudge from a friend, she jumped at the chance to roam the world and took a long sabbatical. She’s been on the road for a while. India, Mexico, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Guatemala, Columbia, along with some European counties – these were checked off the bucket list. Now, she’s a little panicky–feeling the pressure to go back to work. Her slow travel time is drawing to a close. She said to me that within the year, sustaining career marketability or becoming “stale” will be realities for her. She hasn’t saved enough to never work again. Slow travel has ignited a fire of curiosity, freedom and independence. She’s unable to muster the desire to return to work. Slow travel has made returning to work even less attractive. She must work until she’s 65 to obtain her country’s version of social security. She is wrestling with her situation.

On the Road to Slow Travel

It may take years to achieve the financial stability that allows the jump off the dreadmill to take time out to try this lifestyle. Slow travel is not expensive but the time off IS. Unless you have a relatively high income, your savings rate likely won’t allow you quick exit from the dreadmill. You must plan it if you want security, otherwise there’s no easy entrance into the world of slow travel. Living on a shoestring, banging it out on the odd job here and there, living a life of nomadism is unthinkable for many, including me, because there is little security in this existence. Security requires planning. A nomadic life, without financial security, can be stressful. It can produce a lot of anxiety. I already have enough anxiety in my life. I’m not built to withstand more of it. Hand to mouth living and/or working on the road is not for me.

I’ll be facing the marketability issue soon enough. In two years, I’ll also be “stale”. I have been trying to think of palatable ways to re-join the work force later because having another job I hate is not an option for me. Another two to three years of high income would assure more comfort and alleviate any possible uncertainty about the future. My nest egg would then be more than I could or would ever want to spend. The issue is that I simply can’t stomach another dreadmill job. I could live on shoestring in exotic lands and never earn a paycheck again but I’d be tracking spending scrupulously and be limited to countries with a low cost of living. Latin America, Southeast Asia and/or housesitting gigs in Europe would be my only options for the foreseeable future. There would be stress and anxiety because I would still budgeting and frugaling every day. Slow travel outside of these countries would risk running out of money.

Other Slow Travel Considerations

Family and Friends – It’s important that should you have a partner, he or she is on board and you share the same goals. My partner and I are in agreement. You also need to consider your child(ren). Certainly more than my parents did. My grown child, having finally achieving adulthood with a career to match in the last two years, no longer needs me to guide her or subsidize her life. She is independent and makes all of her decisions. I have no say. It is the way it should be. I declared my independence last year when she turned 30. I believe I was a successful parent. I raised a productive member of society with minimal scars.

Also, a sign of success is that we are dissimilar in many ways. I never endeavored to burden her with my happiness. Now that she’s an adult, her happiness is her own responsibility, too. She is non-adventurous and non-contrarian by nature. She likes the 9-5, teaching in a public school, the stability and security of everything, having summers off, consumerism and routine. Her life is much more about things than experiences. She doesn’t have a restless bone in her body. I jumped through every hoop possible to make sure that her life remained as stable as possible. I tried to give her what I didn’t have.

Sometimes, I think I did too much in that regard…but that’s another story. She has expressed that she wishes I’d stay put. She doesn’t really embrace my desire for slow travel and a life abroad. Occasionally, I must remind her that my life is my own as hers is her own. When people find out my daughter’s age, they ask me about grandchildren and I honestly, don’t think grandchildren would change my mind about needing to stay put either, to my daughter’s chagrin. This may be a major consideration for others so I mention it, but I have never had a particular desire to have grandchildren. People always say that when grandchildren are born, this will be different. I wouldn’t know so I can’t predict this. It’s not my decision to make and if my daughter decides to procreate, I wish her the best with that decision. But then again, freedom is my jam. Not hers.

People ask about friendships. The friends that matter stay in touch no matter the distance. I have a few close friends that I actually only talk to a few times a year, otherwise, we write or send messages. I have a few from high school with whom I stay in touch. I’d probably see my friends more if I built a life in another location – all the better that it’s a bit exotic. It bears mentioning here that I am an INFJ. I have few close friends. I have many acquaintances. I have always been a bit solitary, likely because of my upbringing. I definitely have become more introverted over time. I prefer deep connections to shallow ones. I find friendships are fleeting at times because unless someone is equally committed to staying in touch with me, I lose interest. So, as far as friends go, the close ones will always be in my life. We are kindred and our feelings reciprocal.

Technology Changes Everything – The next consideration is technology. Being tech-savvy keeps you connected. You can change a sim card and suddenly you can text anyone anywhere from What’sApp. You can stay in touch via Instagram and FaceBook. You can start a blog and people will know exactly what’s going on with you. SKYPE or Facetime can be the next best thing to hugging your loved ones, whether you are in Atlanta, Athens or Anchorage. No, it will never be the same as being “face-to-face” but I’m not really “face-to-face” much with anyone but my partner anyway. There’s no reason to be isolated when slow traveling. You can easily maintain important relationships.

Additional Financial Planning – Lastly, if connection is important, build into your financial plan some consideration for helping others come visit. Be flexible and adaptable. You can always plan a visit home. You can always invite people to come to stay with you. Likely if you can provide a bed, you have alleviated a major cost of the vacation for them. You can always plan a meet up at the beach by building reunions into your budget. You can sign up for newsletters (Scott’s Cheap Flights is a must) for finding unbelievable fares to parts unknown.

Do you have any other considerations for slow travel or wandering? Did I miss anything big? Is slow travel for you or are you content with vacations? If you suddenly met your financial goals for independence, would travel be at the top of the list? I’d love to hear what your motivations are for slow travel. Thanks for reading.

Republished with permission from Lean Fire ATL